Overcoming Fear and Regrets: How I Make Decisions
“With great power comes great responsibility.” — Uncle Ben
Have you ever wondered what power does Uncle Ben mean? Is it some political power? What about physical power? or even computing power?
All of that might be true, but in my perspective, it all comes down to the power of making decisions. Why? Because we make decisions in everything. We decide what political party we want to vote for. We decide whether or not we want to work. Computer scientists also decide what algorithm they use.
For every decision, comes great responsibility. It is for us to take any consequences that will or will not happen based on decisions we made. Hence, the fear of failure may haunt you overnight and leave you overthinking — at least it is for me.
In making everyday decisions, the fear of failure will not likely surface. They have become automatic. However, if it is a life-changing decision, it is harder for us to choose the alternatives. But, I will tell you that making no decision is itself a decision. You decide that you did not choose anything.
Ruth Chang, in her TEDTalks, How to Make Hard Choices, defines the difference between easy choices and hard choices. She said,
“In an easy choice, one alternative is better than the other. Whereas in a hard choice, one alternative is better in some ways, and the other alternative is better in some other ways. But, overall, neither of these is a better overall.”
When you think about it, the one you think is a hard choice might be the easy one. Let me give you an example. Suppose that you have a chance — even a little — to be accepted as a student in your dream university. However, in the process of application, there are many stages that you are not comfortable doing. For instance, public speaking, debate, or an interview. Then, should you continue to apply?
As a person who has gone through the example I mentioned before, I also experience the same fear. I am ashamed if anything I said was wrong. I am afraid that things did not go as planned. I regret when I failed the application. But, the question is, if you did not go for it, does it mean that you will have no regret?
If you did not take the chance, you are failing for yourself. You did not fail because your skills are not eligible, but you fail because you choose to. You decide to fail. So, it is clear that it is an easy choice: to attempt it.
We are afraid because it is outside of our comfort zone. Therefore, instead of being uncomfortable when going through all the processes, we choose to let it go. It isn’t because not trying is better than trying.
“Perfection prevents action.” — Simon R. Covey
For me, the regret of not trying is more painful — it lingers longer — than trying but failing. Life is not all about success. Yes, success is good, but we don’t have to be perfect, to be successful all the time. We will eventually fail, though. As for myself, life is about learning, including learning to make better decisions.
